2022 Minneapolis

 2022-04-16 – Winnipeg to Minneapolis 

The “worst blizzard in decades” delayed our trip by a few days.  Now, one day after the end of the blizzard, we’re hoping like heck they clear the highways for our drive to Minneapolis.  According to the reports, it’s all clear as soon as we hit ‘murica but patchy in Manitoba.  That’s 511’s way of saying huge sections completely covered in ice.  I average 80 km/h in the icy sections and passed most of the semis.  Some careful drivers maintain about 60 km/h and of course, you have the idiots flying like there’s nothing wrong with the roads.  At least two of them end in the ditch and I give them a nice wave passing by.   

Sure enough, as soon as we cross the border, the interstate is completely clear and we’re back at cruising speed.  It’s amazing the difference you see once you cross the border.  Borders are human constructs, artificially drawn on maps to delineate political divisions.  Nature has no use for human demarcations so there’s no natural reason why the ice sheets should stop as soon as we hit ‘murican soil.  The reason is that the ‘muricans have budget to spend on road maintenance, money that we do not spend, money saved that costs lives. 

On the lines of speeding, Andrea remarked that a semi passed me.   

“A semi passed you!  How did you let that happen?” 

People remember me being the driver and convoy leader driving through ‘murica to witness our friends’ wedding in Las Vegas.  My cruising speed was 90 mph and no one passed us.  Today, as a mellow and responsible driver, cruising at a mere two miles per hour faster than the posted limit means that lots of people pass me.  For most of my life, I never realised how relaxing it is to be the passee, rather than the passer. 

As we cruise down the highway, I vowed that we would not spend a penny in redneck, Republican, Donald Trump-loving North Dakota. With a full tank of gas, I have plenty to get from Winnipeg all the way to Minneapolis without refilling, so no fuelling at North Dak, but lunch at the West Acres food court seems more appealing than at some roadside shack in Moorhead.   

I remember a Cajun restaurant in the food court and look forward to authentic Cajun that does not make it north of the national border.  Sadly, authentic Cajun doesn’t make it as far as North Dakota either; this place resembles the former “Cajun” place in St Vital Centre.  Instead, I have lunch at a place called Street Thai Food.  The fried rice tastes quite bland and the fried chicken has an herb edge, but nothing special.  The chicken with basil has lovely flavour with a huge, spicy bite.  It’s made with ground chicken, rather than pieces, but tastes lovely nevertheless.   

 

The other dishes are just ok, but I would have the chicken with basil again (for future reference). 

Back on the road, as soon as we hit Minnesota, we see the snow disappear.  It seems the blizzard’s reach didn’t make it this far.  We’re not far from Winnipeg but the climate seems considerably nicer already.   

In the heart of Minneapolis downtown, finding a restaurant for a quick bite is harder than I think.  Despite eight theatres in a single block, I would expect more restaurants to cater to the flocks of theatre-goers.  It’s really odd:  this IS the theatre districts and their theatres look packed.  I know we have a “theatre district” with Pantages, Warehouse, MTC and sometimes the Concert Hall, but we do not have a line-up of people at each and every venue.  This feels like mini-Broadway with all the people here.  And yet, where are the restaurants?!  We give up and head straight to the theatre where chardonnay becomes dinner! 

 

I have poor luck with seating.  More often than I can relate, I end up sitting behind someone with a pumpkin-head, including at the Super Bowl.  Today, I end up behind a baby.  WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BRING A TODDLER TO A CELTIC WOMAN CONCERT?! 

 

The concert ends up one of the most beautiful theatrical events.  This gorgeous presentation, the ethereal music and the elegance sit as one of the best performances I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen some beautiful shows in my life).  As a bonus, the kid in front of me at the concert did not make a peep.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back at the hotel, Andrea really wants to press the “fire hat” button on elevator panel.  I say and repeat loudly, “NO!  Hit “H” as in hotel, not the picture of the red firefighters’ hat.”  Despite my warnings, she still wants to.   

Although only one of us has been drinking so far, I’m not sure who it is.   

Our hotel is set up differently.  The eighth floor of this building is actually the lobby and check in point of this establishment.  All floors above are part of the hotel but everything below is for other uses.   

The central atrium opens to the roof with all the suites flanking the open area.  The set-up reminds me of the Luxor in Vegas, although it’s not configured as a pyramid of course.  Andrea boldly proclaimed our trip to Las Vegas, “our worst vacation ever” so I hope this outing rates better. 

 

 

We’re at the Hyatt Regency with a suite and Andrea now proclaims this as our “new standard of hotels that we must establish as a minimum.” 

:O 

She even suggests that we get a similar suite aboard our next cruise.   

:O 

A typical seven-day cruise in the Caribbean runs $1000 with an inside cabin.  A cabin with a porthole goes for $1250. A room with a balcony runs $1500.  A balcony with spa amenities goes for $2000.  The Haven, the exclusive suite with all the amenities, goes from $4600 to $9000, depending on the size of suite.  Vacations just got difficult. 

The concert runs almost 2½ hours, which means that most restaurants closed before we got out.  We decide on simple sandwiches in the hotel convenience store.  All that’s left at this time of night is one turkey with lettuce and cheese samich, and a sausage, egg, cheese muffin that has no muffin but pancake in place of a bun. Words cannot describe how disgusting this was, especially with no means of heating it. 

 

2022-04-17 – Downtown Minneapolis 

Since our hotel comes with complimentary hot breakfast, we decided to eat before heading out.  Twelve eggs and seven sausages later and I regret my choice of food.  Most of my meals are lower-fat and this seems to slide right through.   

Uh-em 

That’s especially poor when you’re out in the wilderness.  The morning starts with a hike at the base of the Heritage Trail, starting at the Hennepin Avenue Bridge, like a green, mini-Golden Gate Bridge.  We wind through downtown Main Street, the ruins, and over the Stone Arch Bridge.  This five-mile hike gives spectacular views of the Anthony Falls, the power station and everything in between.  This is one of the highlights of all my trips to Minneapolis. 

 

 

 

 

 

Seasonal temperatures now peak at 15C but today’s 6C with clouds, big wind, and occasional sprinkle still comes as a pleasant change to the blizzard we saw at home.  A warm-up and rest break takes us to a restaurant for the spiciest Bloody Mary I ever had, but it comes with a beer chaser.  You know you can’t go wrong when it comes with a pepperoni stick as a garnish. 

The Easter special lunch costs $45 with six courses.  The server talks about what a big day it is but I guess as an atheist, I wonder again why it’s so hard to find a restaurant with openings here. 

Page Break 

Our last three trips to Minneapolis, we planned to go to the Sculpture Garden, but for different reasons, we never made it there.  Today, we made it and it’s fun with some whacky pieces.  I tease Andrea by calling it “the big blue cock” but it turns out that they actually refer to it as such.   

 

Normally, I would Photoshop the people out of the shot but I left them in so that you can see just how big this cock is. 

Here’s the iconic cherry and spoon sculpture you see that immediately evokes “Minneapolis.” suggest climbing on the noted big spoon but Andrea thinks it’s a bad idea.   

 

 

Rather than try to hunt down another restaurant, we pick up a few things from Whole Foods and their take-out section.  The Lobster Roll is to die for and the sushi has all the quality of a dedicated restaurant.  It’s definitely not the crud we pawn off at the deli section of Safeway.  There must be a half-pound of lobster meat in here.  Oh so good! 

 

 

2022-04-18 – Mall of ‘murica 

We’ve been here a lot and I never tire of walking through this mall.  We also visited the aquarium many times and I suspect we’ll visit it many more times in future.  For future reference, do not come as soon as they open.  Our behind-the-scenes VIP tour is packed with people and children, all of whom had the same idea of coming early.  The next tour had a total of three people (all adults).   

While shooting some fishes, a person stops by to tell me that my camera is too nice for Minnesota, and I should be careful because walking around with this camera is like flaunting a big diamond.  They don’t know that I come from the violent crime capital of the country.  To be fair, that’s our country and I don’t know the violent crime rates of ‘murica.  This morning’s news talked about two mass-murders by guns.  U-S-A – U-S-A! 

Wandering through the mall halls takes up most of the rest of the day.  We take a break at the Fly over America attraction, something we’ve done often before, but something that we’ll keep doing every time it’s around.  A simulation ride that includes wind, mist and movement, we really enjoy the realness of it.  Today’s showings include Fly over America and Fly over Hawai’i. 

 

2022-04-19 – State Parks 

Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden and Bird Sanctuary:  The highlight of this tour is to observe the wildflowers, and for us, especially to see and photograph birds.  Alas, it’s too early in the year to see any vegetation as all the trees are still brown and none of the growth has budded yet.  Although we hear birds everywhere, we didn’t get to see many.  It’s a lovely hike through a beautiful area but it would be spectacular in a couple of months when everything is alive again. 

Midtown Global Market:  We weren’t sure what to expect but we hoped for (at minimum) something like The Fork, or better, something like Lonsdale Quay in Vancouver, or at best, Night Market in Vancouver.  So the Global part is accurate, as the food area features foods from around the world.  The Market part is sadly lacking as there are maybe six venders that are not food vendors.  So the food was fabulous, but after lunch, there is not much more to see here.   

I love Moroccan and I have no had good Moroccan since San Diego many, many years ago.  Winnipeg serves some Moroccan but it’s never tasted like what I remember. 

The salad sides provide a hopeful start.  Even though I’m not a huge fan of olives, these are delicious.  I’m also not a follower of eggplant but I can honestly say that this is the best eggplant I’ve ever tried. 

The Beef Couscous is very heavy in meat and vegetables, and quite light in couscous, which is excellent, nutrition wise.  It’s an unusual combination of sweet and savoury as the dates, yam and ??? provides an infusion of sweet into the savoury stewed beef.  I remember sumac as a fundamental spice in Moroccan cuisine but I don’t really taste it here. 

Minnehaha Falls:  This is the highlight of the day to me.  From the images I’ve seen, I expect a nice waterfall but the 109 steps from river basin to fall ledge is a lot higher than I expected.  The hike along the river after the falls provides a serene and relaxing refuge in the middle of an urban metropolis. 

Target:  To pick up a few things, we see a Target en route and stop in.  I like Target and I miss seeing them in Winnipeg.  I don’t understand why we had such a vendetta against it.  When WalFart first came, people wanted Grand Forks prices but they didn’t get it, and yet they embraced WalFart.  Then when Target came to Canada, people wanted Grand Forks prices—and of course, they didn’t get it.  Instead of embracing Target, people chastised it.  You can hear outright hate when people talked about it.  People were happy when they left and said things like, “good riddance.” 

Why? 

Competition is a good thing—it helps drive prices down.  Now it’s become a two-mega-company oligarchy between WalFart and Costco.  We are one megastore away from a monopoly.  If one of them dies, or if they collude, we are entirely at their mercy.  I don’t get it. 

Boom Island Lighthouse:  With some time to kill, I take us back to the Mississippi downtown.  I read about the Boom Island Lighthouse and thought it would be fun to climb up for a panoramic view.   

Many people do not know the difference between an island and a peninsula.  A lot of lighthouses sit on peninsulas, situated at the farthest reaching point of land.  A peninsula is just a piece of land that extends into water.  An island must be surrounded by water on all sides.  I thought the Boom Island Lighthouse would be situated on a peninsula that we can hike to.  It stands on an actual island and there is no way to access it unless you swim or boat to it.  I guess it’s not really a tourist attraction.   

 

2022-04-20 – Return home 

The forecast for most of the drive calls for cloudy but dry through Minnesota, then snow mixed with rain as soon as we hit North Dakota and all the way through Manitoba. 

:< 

We hope to get out of the hotel in good time but I remember that we need to complete the ArriveCan Pan-Canadian cards downloaded.  Unbeknown to us, we just downloaded our Manitoba cards, and it still took an hour to complete. 

We finally make it out of the hotel and I hope to make up some ground on the storm.  That works great until we reach Alexandria, about an hour before the North Dakota border.  The sky opens up and I can see the temperature sensor in the car drop.  In very little time, it drops from 9C to 0.5C.  Then as soon as it hits 0C, the rain immediately turns to snow and slush builds on the highway. 

One smashed bumper and two cars in the ditch tells me I want to pick a semi, and just follow it blindly.  If it goes over a cliff, I’m following those two red tail lights straight over the cliff. 

 

From a cruising speed of 125 km/h, we drop to 70 km/h.  Our seven-hour drive may easily become a 12-hour drive if we need to maintain this speed for the remainder of the journey.  Fortunately, this only lasts for about an hour.  We hit Moorhead to refuel and by the time we get out, the precipitation stops and the clouds recede.  By the time we hit Grand Forks, we have dry highway and clear skies for the remainder of the ride home. 

Aside from the debacle of not being able to provide the Pan-Canadian vaccination proof (which the border guard was kind enough to take our word for) we finally embark on our last leg home.  So you read that right—if you just have the Manitoba plastic card, that gets you nothing.  They want the Pan-Canadian image, so be sure you have that on hand if you leave the country. 

Re-filing my ArriveCan application now…