2018 Alaska - Seattle
Saturday, Aug 25: Winnipeg airport to Vancouver airport, to Seattle
At the airport and waiting for our flight, Donna and Andrea catch up while I work on the Surface. Out of one ear, they draw my attention as the conversation seems to take odd turns. From psoriasis to sclerosis, suddenly they talk about menses. Most guys don’t want to hear talk about menses, but Donna said that Jim was trying to explain menses to her.
Huh?!
As the discussion evolves, we find out that Donna mistook the word menses to be used as Nexus, as in our trusted traveller Nexus card that gets us priority past the security line. Apparently, Donna substituted Nexus for menses, which is the group that has geniuses for members.
The three of us laugh in unison. As the laughing subsides, I look at Andrea and said,
“Are you going to tell Donna, or am I?” Andrea instructed me to tell her so I said that the genius group is called Mensa. I continue,
“Do you know what “menses” means? After a “no,” I continue that it’s the menstrual period.
OMG, and laughter continues.
Shortly afterwards, the plane starts to board. Panicky Jim hustles into line with the throngs. Andrea and I find a seat because we (meaning I) like to be the last one on board. Boarding with the hoi polloi means that you stand in line with your thumb up your butt. Then you get onto the plane and wait for everyone to stash their carry-ons, meanwhile your thumb is still up your butt. Not boarding until last call means that everyone’s already seated and you proceed unimpeded to your seat and plop in—no muss, no fuss and no waiting.
The last call boarding announcement comes, immediately followed by our names. Perfect timing! although I get the business from Andrea—something about not wanting to have our names paged over the airwaves.
On the plane, we’re surrounded by Asians, hardly surprising since the flight soars towards Vancouver. I smell an odd odour and wonder what foul air wafts through the cabin. I hope that it’s not me, and that I didn’t eat too much meat over the past few days. I smell like ammonia when my diet features too much meat and not enough of anything else.
Thankfully, it’s not me. I look over and the Asian lady has an open can of tuna—not exactly plane-friendly food, but entirely an Asian thing to do. I can envision any of my family members scooping fish out of a can, irrespective of the atmosphere.
Vancouver airport: We find that our flight is delayed half hour, which isn’t so bad, but not great. Then in front of our eyes, the delay clock changes to almost three hours. Arrgghh! We go and grab dinner, which was a delicious Tuna Poke for me. I wonder how many years it will be before Winnipeg has raw fish at the airport? Years ago, I had raw fish at a sushi restaurant in Chicago, which tasted exceptional. I can see a sushi restaurant in an airport but here in Vancouver, it’s raw fish from a sports bar!
Since we have such a delay, we won’t arrive in Seattle until late, almost 10 pm. It’s time to visit the duty-free. Like many duty-frees, this duty free may not have tax, but it’s not inexpensive. I can get a 40-ounce Bombay Sapphire for $30 but since we board tomorrow, I can’t take the rest on the ship. I cannot drink a 40 tonight. Alternatively, they have 30 cl bottles for $20. I can buy two of those for $40 and get half the volume, or just get the 40. The next morning, Andrea looks at the bottle from the bed and asks if I finished the gin!
:O
Not a lot of people will beat me in a drinking contest but gees, I’m not going to drink 40 ounces in one sitting! I thought I did quite well with half the bottle! Back to the moment…
At dinner, (or just before), Jim comes up with this great idea that we should start into our duty-free, since we’re sitting around wasting time anyway. Andrea’s right no board and I look around to verify who’s with me on this trip! Am I travelling with Ava, Darcy and Gumma, or is this Donna, Jim and Andrea?! Really?! They want to break into drinking at the airport gate?!
Before you know it, Jim’s pouring Baileys into Andrea’s cup and into his own, clear water bottle, topped up with ice—very subtle. This can’t go unanswered. All I have is a $4 Coke. Dumping my gin into a Coke bottle looks too obvious for my subtle self. Into the souvenir store I go and out I come with a water bottle. Sixteen ounces of Bombay Sapphire in the bottle and I’m ready to play. One of Andrea’s most quotable moments from our trip to Cancun,
“We can drink with the best of them!” after closing the bar at the all-inclusive at midnight (we went on to a different bar afterwards). Today, Jim taunts her again with keeping up with the best of them—let me see them after 16 ounces of gin!
Sunday, August 26: Seattle, board NCL Pearl
You sure know you’re in ‘murica when you turn on the TV and the first eight channels broadcast preachers. Of the thousands of people I see parked in front of churches on Sunday mornings, why do they bother? Why not just watch it on TV? Isn’t that enough to save your immortal soul?
Shuttle comes and brings us to the ship and we’re among the first ones in the boarding lobby. Called on board, we arrive in time for our first feeding. Lunch in the main dining room brings a surprise when we see a sign that says, “collars, pants and shoes required” as part of the dress code,
What!? Norwegian is supposed to be the “no pants cruise line” for a reason! I don’t want to wear pants to eat! We find out later that one of the main dining rooms permits casual. I still don’t see why this ultra-sexist rule exists. Women can wear short shorts, ripped, cut-off jeans up their cracks and be fine, yet men need to wear long pants. Isn’t this a human rights violation?
The staff member at the elevator tries to convince us to go to the buffet, rather than the main dining room. I think that they deployed the strength of the staff to embarkation and the main restaurant runs on a skeleton crew this afternoon. Lunch takes about two hours but no worries, we’re in no rush.
I thought we had a good chance at winning afternoon trivia but 11/20 isn’t nearly enough as the winning team posted 17/20. By this time, the liquor starts catching up to Andrea. If you’ve ever seen Andrea face the booze monster, she starts hitting, slapping and punching. Today, we named them “Slappy” and “Punchy.” Slappy and Punchy show up and I’m sure glad Jim sits next to Andrea! At one point, Andrea sends Jim to get her a drink from the bar. While he’s gone, she finishes the rest of his drink!
Plenty of signs promise prime rib for dinner but the only restaurant to have it is the English pub and the buffet, and we opt for the main dining room instead. The food tastes great, naturally, but it’s not the prime rib we were promised. They say tomorrow…
After dinner, we head off to the variety show, where we meet the senior officers and the dedicated dancers and singing troupe of the ship. The show runs a bit late and we hustle to meet Donna and Jim for the Sing It Game. For this game, they play the notes to a song. You get points for running up and naming the song, singer/band, singing the song, presence on stage, and number of supporters. The songs we get tonight are “Sweet Caroline,” a song from KC & the Sunshine Band,” “Billie Jean” from the child molester/ kiddie rapist, and finally, “Like a Virgin.”
The dance party starts and we stay for a bit but we cash out shortly afterwards, timely as another child molester song comes on.
In the stateroom, you can normally stick a full sized suitcase under the bed. Today, we find a cot under our bed in addition to a pull-out over our bed. Our wee cabin actually sleeps four! We’re only two but we have big suitcases so we decide to get rid of the cot, which is an ordeal itself. It opens like a gurney but it doesn’t lock closed. The further we pull it out from under the bed, the more it springs open. It opens enough where its sits jammed between the bed and the doorway, taking enough room where we can’t open the door. Andrea calls someone to come get it but we manage to wedge it out and leave it in the hall.
Andrea’s off to bed and I’m on top deck typing this. The temperature feels fine but the wind bites after a while. Half hour later, I move indoors and into the jazz bar with double Hendricks and tonic. One bartender tells me “last call” and I get another double Hendricks. Then another bartender tells me “last call” and I get a double cognac. While I have all of these drinks on the bar, another bartender comes and asks if I want something for last call—I think I’m done.
Earlier today, we figured that we have to drink $70 in liquor every day to cover for buying the liquor package. Jim and Andrea made that quote easily today but I don’t think Donna did. Me? If I calculated my bar tab today, not including tip, I would settle in at a cozy $300. You provide your key card every time you order your drink and I’m cocksure they track everything you do. I wonder at what point they say that this character isn’t permitted to purchase the beverage package anymore when he consumes the equivalent of the entire cost of the cruise package in two days!
Curious, Courvoisier is bottomless for the beverage package but Hennessey is pay. They cost virtually the same at the store at home. Jim asked me earlier if we get good cognac here. The answer,
EVERY COGNAC IS GOOD COGNAC! There is no such thing as bad cognac and if you’re going to give me free pours on cognac, the world is a nice place. Oh, you’re not closed “officially yet” I’ll have another double Courvoisier please! Let’s bump the bar tab to $330. It’s been a good first cruise day!
Monday, Aug 27: cruising speed: 19.9 knots, apparent wind speed: 42.7 knots – heavy gale
Sea day means relaxation on board with games and beverages. With dense fog, there isn’t much to see, which is a real shame. The one moment the sun peeps through, we glimpse the mountains and get an inkling of what the scenery would be like if we would have had a cloudless journey.
We sit in on a presentation on the future of Norwegian and discover that they will discontinue the construction of megaships with passenger capacities approaching 5000 passengers, to commission a new class of ships holding around 3300 passengers, starting in 2020 (Leonardo Class).
After the discussion, we visit with the cruise consultant for possibilities, sailing out of Miami before or after the Super Bowl. Then Andrea comes up with the great idea that we cruise before AND AFTER the big game. I’m on board. That would be a great way to gear up for Super Bowl, and a nice second cruise would be a nice wind down after the once-in-a-lifetime event.
A few more rounds of trivia and victory continues to elude us, even though we come close every time. The main show for the evening is The Not so Newlywed Game. For this game, they usually seek the audience for a newlywed couple, the couple with the longest marriage tenure (50 years today), and a couple somewhere in between. They design the questions to be personal and elicit humourous answers, and today’s rendition doesn’t disappoint.
We catch a bit of the band afterwards but Andrea and I both desperately need sleep (and it’s only 2130h). Early to bed means spa and gym tomorrow.
Tuesday, Aug 28: 11C morning, forecast high 15C, 16.6 knots with apparent wind at 29 knots
Day starts off with Andrea at the spa and me at the gym. After a quick workout, it’s off for breakfast. One secret to cruise ship buffets: you must search through the entire buffet before settling on a decision, especially if you don’t eat much. The standard breakfast buffet will always feature ham, bacon, sausage, with various potatoes and modes of eggs. If that’s your game, go ahead and get in line.
Because of the large contingent of ethnic travellers, you will find plenty of ethnic choices. Since the crew usually consists of a wide kaleidoscope of cultures and ethnicities, you can be assured that the kitchen crew has the same representation. What this means is that the cooks can and will create a broad set of authentic, foreign cuisines.
I make the mistake of loading up on eggs first.
Even though I love eggs (I really love eggs), I stumble onto trays of fried rice and chicken congee. Oh, I miss congee. That was one of the few foods that my parents made that I absolutely loved. It’s so simple, elegant and healthy. Eggs and sausages to the side, I load up the plate with congee. Then I return for a second plate, then a third. Looking around, I see a large scattering of Asian-appearing people having the congee for breakfast too.
While seated by myself, the busy dining room runs low on spots. An Indian lady asks to share my table, which I happily oblige. I look at her plate, and I see a samosa, vegetable curry and chicken curry. Already having consumed two litres of congee and a half-pound of eggs, I sadly have no more room for curry this morning. For the remainder of the cruise, I’ll be on the lookout for Chinese, Indian, Thai, Japanese, Vietnamese, and whatever else surprises may appear on the buffet table.
Two rounds of trivia follows where I fail to win by one question on each. In past, they awarded prizes for the winners, which the cruise staff proudly declare as pieces of crap. Even though they’re crap, they still incite the base nature of people to compete ferociously. This cruise, the crappy prizes are gone, but that doesn’t halt the competitive nature of the alpha-types. One lady claimed to have 19 correct out of 20 when the next highest score only reached 12. Stunned by how well she did, the cruise host goes to look at her sheet and discovers that she cheated! She admits to it and he asks,
“Why?! There are no prizes! It’s just for fun!” She says that she knows there are no prizes, which is why it’s okay to cheat.
Gees, that’s one of the reasons why the human race will eventually destroy itself. Here’s another: we cruise by the shoreline and finally get close enough where we can see the shore. The group at the next table ask whether there are polar bears here. The 400-pounder reddest-neck father pretends to make the gesture of shooting a rifle and boasts about wanting to shoot the bear. Then the entire redneck family laud about the rewards of coming home with polar bear pelts after our cruise. Then the redneck kids all ask if they each have their own polar bear pelts and the 400-pounder boasts that he has lots of ammo and everyone can have a bear rug.
The ‘murican way: why just look at something when you can destroy it.
Wednesday, Aug 29
Train tour
“Copy Cat” show
“Dancing with the Stars” show
Burger and fries at O’Sheehan’s
Thursday, Aug 30
We awaken to the announcement that the ship has entered Glacier Bay. Out we burst, not wanting to miss a moment of the scenery. Words can never describe the power and beauty of nature as we float through the inlet. Our massive floating city appears miniscule among the towering fjords and even the receding glaciers.
Peaceful and tranquil, our engines idle as we sit and admire nature at work. I even manage to capture a XXX term, as the glacier buckles and releases more icebergs.
Brainiac
Tri-bond
“Flags of the World” appears on almost every cruise we take. It seems to always start with the flag of Nepal, but the remainder of the body varies. During the trivia, a man with a toddler on this shoulders walks by. The host says “hi boy” and immediately afterwards, he wails like the world will end. My dismal showing rounds out of 20 only correctly answered Peru, Germany and China! That’s absolutely pathetic for a person who visited more than 20 countries, get all the rest incorrect, including Mexico! What the hell! Countries missed that I visited include: Belgium, Portugal, Bermuda—I can almost forgive myself for missing some of those but Bermuda, when I visited only a few months ago?! And Mexico, where I visited a dozen cities?!
Having a glass of wine and writing this, I discover that a scary number of bartenders know me by name! By no means has this been my most liquor-prolific adventure and bartenders/servers address me by name. Imagine what it’s going to be like when we retire and spend a year on the seas! I’ll get invited to crew family dinners!
Cruising at 22 knots.
Friday, Aug 31 – Ketchican: 12C with no wind and overcast
The day starts with a frenzy as we awaken at 6 am—actually, it doesn’t as I opt to stay in bed and forego the gym.
The day starts with a frenzy as the wakeup call comes at 8 am. We get ready quickly to make trivia for 9 am, finding ourselves in second place again. We hurry up to the buffet for another couple of bowls of congee, with a side of scrambled eggs and sausages. Cleaned up again, we rendezvous with Donna & Jim at 10 am to disembark. A bus tour entices Andrea and we set off to our coach while the Pearces hoof it into town.
The normal tour runs 2½ - 3 hours but we get an abbreviated 90 minute tour because of our short stay here. The tour starts with a ride through town and some insight into the locally famed brothel. The madame bought the building for $800 and reputedly paid off the mortgage in two days, sourced by the “staff” charging $3/trick.
We head towards a fish ladder, where we witness salmons jumping the ladder, en route to their spawning spots. The perilous rocks of the mini-waterfall promise to carve those salmons that make it so the ladder provides a safe climb for the fishes.
Onwards to the City Park, where we witness salmons in the process of spawning, and the carcasses of the dead fishes after they lay their eggs. Because of the abundance of fish carcasses, this area invites insects and other wildlife to come for easy feeding.
The tour continues out of town, where we pass several ocean-side octopi dens. Brave skin divers can weather the dip into the 1C ocean temperatures, hoping to catch a glimpse of the five metre long octopi.
The final destination finds us at delta where the creek empties into the Pacific. Another easy-pickings feeding ground, the delta invites all sorts of predators and scavengers, including ravens, eagles, terns, Canada geese and bears.
The guide describes the hibernation process where the female hibernates, gestates, gives birth, then awakens after the winter. The males remain active all season, hunting, guarding and eventually caring for the cubs.
TV show trivia
The ship pushes off and we zip towards Victoria at 23.4 knots.
We arrive at Victoria in the evening, which contrasts our usual morning porting times. We disembark and stroll towards Fisher’s Wharf, a quaint community consisting of residents living on floating homes, floating shops and restaurants. This seems like an idyllic place to live, although I’m sure cruise ships bring along thousands of unwanted visitors.
Sunday:
Our final day on the ship sees us back on top deck for breakfast and my last bowls of congee in a long time. By 10 am, we cleared customs and we stand on land again. We need to waste some time before dropping off our bags, which brings us to Anthony’s Seafood XXX, immediately adjacent to our cruise ship pier. Catching up with the real world through wifi, I sample one of the greatest bowls of clam chowder I’ve tasted in years, maybe a decade. The broth tastes wonderfully rich but it’s the big chunks of clams that make this soup. Afterwards, we mosey over to CityLink Stadium, where we tour the stadium. Some stadium facts:
LIST FACTS
After the tour, the guide recommends dinner at 13 Coins, a place where I feast on clams. I start with the bucket of clams, cooked in a delicious pesto sauce. I love pesto and this is a winning combination that must reproduce when we return home. Next, the linguine with clam sauce is simply the best clam dish I tasted since New York. Finishing dinner, we stroll to Pioneer Square, where we undertake the underground tour. While preparing to descend, the guide leaves us with a question, “what is it called a square when it’s a triangle?”
Out of sight, Jim turns to me and says,
“Well trivia man, why is it?” I answer that,
“The square here refers to the site as a meeting place, rather than a geographical shape.” Upon returning, the guide provides the answer, verbatim to what I just related. Jim stares at me laser eyes, cutting as they say implicitly,
“smart ass.”
Here are some details on Seattle’s humble beginnings:
XXX
Monday
Mount Rainier…
Originally, Captain George Vancouver discovered Mount Rainier and named it after his friend Peter Regnier. Knowing the English, and especially knowing the ‘muricans, they would bastardise the pronunciation to “reg-ner.” Regnier eventually changed to Rainier. The French would pronounced Regnier “rain-yay,” and the pronunciation in French for Rainier would still be “rain-yay” but the English say “Rain-neer.” It’s not great but it’s far better than “reg-ner.”
Rainier is majestic in its grandeur but it conceals its presence from us. It’s amazing how something that stands 14 000+ feet high can hide itself so well. The tour bus picks us up near the hotel and barrels along the freeway at 120 km/h. The tour guide points out where Rainier stands but all you see is the base as the peak hides, enshrouded among the clouds. As wear near the national park, the mount is supposed to grow but nothing but the foothills reveal their presence.
After entering the park, we witness numerous peaks which form part of the Rainier mount but the actual peak continues to elude us. Our first stop brings us to Christine Falls, part of the drainage system that evacuates melt from one of the 26 permanent glaciers on Rainier.
Next, we stop at XXX Falls
Along the way, the tour stopped by a grocery store, to relieve us from having to pay national park prices for cafeteria food. The tour comes to the visitors’ centre and the base trails of Rainier. Consistent with the day, we can only see a few hundred feet above us and the peak continues to remain a mystery. After a hurried bite for lunch, I’m ready to attack the trails and ascend the mountain. The Rangers recommend the XXX trail, primarily I figure because I look like a fat, out of shape sluggard who needs to stay on a low-challenge trail.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), I miss the turnoff for XXX trail and continue up the Deadhorse trail. The trail system all start at a gradual 20 degree climb but once you reach the confluence of the trails, the ascending trails quickly rise to 40 degree slopes.
The tour allows for 1:45 minutes stay at the visitors’ area. After a quick 15 minute lunch, I have 90 minutes to ascend and allow myself 90 minutes to return. All said, I travelled roughly four miles, with an altitude gain of 1000 feet. I make it as far as Glacier Vista, where I witness the lowest spread of the glacier and the waterfall behind the glacier. I look up at the next lookout, Panoramic View and contemplate whether I should continue ascending. It’s a short half-mile to the next lookout but the gain is almost 500 feet in that leg. I decide to back off and I somewhat regret that move since I return to base with 15 minutes remaining.
After we leave the visitors’ area, our guide tells us we have a few other stops before returning to Seattle. On our first stop, the clouds finally break and we get our first glimpse of the summit. What eluded us all day finally reveals itself over the course of our next few stops.
Returning to the city, we trek to the Capital Hill neighbourhood, where Oysterman recommends we dine. According to Oysterman, only tourists frequent the waterfront and the downtown. The locals venture to Capital Hill for better and lower-priced food. We stop into Linda’s, a place Oysterman loves and said that Kurt Cobain used to frequent. I hope to eat all seafood while on the coast but the complete absence of sea fare means that it’s land animals for me this meal. The burger, cooked to a perfect medium, tastes outstanding, while the fries deserve equal regard.
Tuesday
We catch the monorail bound to the Space Needle which whisks us there in mere minutes. The Space Needle recently underwent extensive renovations to remove the rotating restaurant. In its place, we find a second observation deck with rotating glass floors. A one-horsepower motor rotates the entire turntable, offering spectacular views below. A mini Zamboni continuously cleans the glass to erase prints left behind from people like me sitting and lying on the ground.
The upper level features glass panels with open air slits and open overhead venting. Between the panels, you can see the glass measures two inches thick, dispelling any illusion that there’s any fragility here. Glass benches supposedly give the illusion of levitation but we can’t seem to get the pose right.
The entire renovation project cost $100 million and supposedly, it would have cost less to demolish the existing tower and recreate a new one. Of course, being an icon and symbol of the city of Seattle, this landmark remains sacred to the citizens.
The duck’s nest roosts nearby so we embark on a Duck tour after we descend from the tower. The Duck takes us from the Seattle Centre into the Freemont neighbourhood and eventually downtown. The delightful tour guide delivers an entertaining overview of the area as we rove by the points of interest.
The average Seattle citizen spends $15 every day on Starbucks coffee.
The City of Seattle is the fastest growing city in the country, averaging 58 new residents every day.
Seattle is the fifth-most expensive ‘murican city in which to live.
Rain engulfs the city for most of the winter season but precipitation level is quite low since most of the rain comes in the form of mist.
The amphibious vehicle “ducks” into Elliott Bay for a spectacular panorama of the skyline. The avoid disturbing the water residents, the maximum permitted speed in the Bay is 7 knots. Because the seaside residents do not own “land,” they cannot pay property taxes. Instead, the city levies a “shadow tax,” for the buildings encroaching onto the sea base by casting shadows! Our guide relates that new money lives on the waterfront and the tax is chump change to their $7 million properties.
We ponder visiting the Museum of Popular Arts but decide to return to downtown instead via free waterfront shuttle. It’s been a while since I’ve been in Seattle and the Pike Place Market has grown considerably since my last visit. I remember three blocks of market but now, the farmers’ market spans numerous blocks over several levels.
Alas, we don’t live here and all the tempting fruits, vegetables and seafood isn’t ours to buy. After a few hours of browsing, we discover “Wings over Washington,” a virtual ride over the State’s highlights. This exhilarating ride brings us about for another run at it; we could ride this thing all day.
Dinner finds us at the Crab Pot, where the smell of specialty crab permeates the air. I opt for the Crab-crab-crab, which features a half snow crab, a half dungenous crab and one leg plus one claw of king crab. This great opportunity for side-by-side compare and contrast gives me the perfect setting for crab tasting.
The snow crab, the common species that we find at home, tastes deliciously sweet and tender. The dungenous crab has a savoury taste, that’s not as sweet as the snow crab but a touch more tangy. The king crab has the sweetness of the snow crab, the savory taste of the dungenous crab, as well as an undertone of umami. Firmer than the other meats, the crab lives up to its name as king of crabs.
The Ferris wheel offers a panoramic view of the evening skyline. Gently swaying, this gondola offers a relaxing way to end the evening. The black gondola, set aside from all the white ones, offers the luxury ride, at a mere $50/person/ride.
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
Trip home always bring sad feelings, especially sitting and waiting in the airport. Today’s not so bad as breakfast includes Tuna Poke and a final taste of Anthony’s clam chowder. It doesn’t have as many generous chunks of clam as the location on the pier but hey, how can you complain for airport food?! Look at the crud we get in Winnipeg airport.
Beaten by a salad
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